Likes and Dislikes

GOOD THINGS	SHIT LIST
Buffy The Vampire Slayer The second best TV show ever	Southampton Football Club Pile of crap down the road
Portsmouth Football Club The best football club in the world...probably	Rappers Always such pretentious wankers
Synthesizers God's gift to the instrument world	Reggae So boring
Gary Numan God's gift to the music world	Culture Club How can anyone like them?
Nash The Slash Bandages and violins in harmony	Boy Bands Production line dross
VST Space saving goodness	Nadia from Big Brother Who the feck voted for this thing!
Doctor Who The best TV show ever	Coronation Street The worse TV show ever
Dr Robert Moog For inventing the modern synthesizer	Mobile Phones Substitute penis for most people (not me, but I have one now)
KFC The best fast food ever	Manchester United Just hate them
Clare Grogan Teenage fantasy woman	Gypsies Ignorant, messy and criminal
Little Britain The new Monty Python	Pop Idol / X Factor / Fame Academy etc Lets make more shit chart fodder
Operation Good Guys Keeping the streets clear of crime	Big Brother Slappers and camp men, don't normal people exist anymore?
Computers Wonderful invention all round	Opera I just don't get it
Speed Cameras For catching moronic boy-racers	People Who Complain About Speed Cameras Just obey the law moron!
"Ed" The other good American comedy	Prawns Wet bugs
Inner City Sumo & Monkey Tennis What great TV they would have been	ManUre fans not from Manchester Fecking glory hunters
Amps that go to 11 For being one louder	George Bush God help the world
Holly Willoughby The guilty pleasure of children's television	Bonnie Langford Worse thing to ever happen to Doctor Who
Mick Kennedy's Tackles Portsmouth's best midfield destroyer	Trisha/Springer and all the rest If your life is that shit, don't share it with me
Indian Takeaway For giving us Chicken Tikka Masala	The fashion section in Lads Mags Why?
Chinese Takeaway For giving us Sweet and Sour Chicken	Posh(?) Spice As posh as Vicky Pollard
Steve Wickham & The Violin Everything Nigel Kennedy isn't	Z List Celebrities Find an Island, Farm, Kitchen and bloody stay there!
Billy Currie & The ARP Odyssey How to play the synthesizer	Simon Cowell Creator of at least two previous entries
Star Trek To go boldly nowhere in particular	Jordan Plastic council estate trash
Alan Partridge Richard Madeley on acid	Cheap Turkish Labour Hope you hate my job as much as I did
3 o'clock kick off How football should be	The Saxophone What an awful noise
Joss Whedon Creator of great television	Scousers Shell suited thief's and Wayne Rooney
Cheese Food for all occasions	Autoliv AGB No pay rise and now no fecking job!
Milan Mandaric Saving Portsmouth Football Club	Gallagher Brothers Collective term for a pair of wankers
Scrubs A good American comedy at last	Nigel Quashie Must be a struggle on 8k a week
Championship Manager Who needs a life with this on you PC?	Children playing the recorder Never sounds good
Scummer faces When you beat them 4-1!	Ballet Queers in tights, Legs and Co were better
Scummer faces When they then get relegated and cry on TV!	James Beattie No longer a Scummer but still a twat
Sacha Gaydamak Moving Portsmouth to a whole new level, hopefully!	Alan Hansen Liverpool are great....repeat endlessly
Rupert Lowe Moved Southampton to a whole new level, hopefully	School choirs Shut them up...please!
The FA Cup Looks so nice in Portsmouths hands	Trick or Treat We are not fecking Americans!
	Gareth Gates f...f...f...fecking..c..c...c..crap
	El Hadji Diouf Only girls spit, a diving cheating wanker
	Royal Family Stuck up spongers
	Christiano Ronaldo Cheating pretty boy
	Women Why can't I be gay, must be so much easier!
	Amy Winehouse Drug riddled skank, do us all a favour
	Joey Barton How many "second" chances does this thug get?
	Shami Chakrabarti Protecting the rights of thugs, crooks and terrorists
	Harry Redknapp Why are we even surprised at his treachery?